Tim Tripielson

Tim Tripielson is an annoying character. It is known as the ARACHNID OF DEATH!!!!!!!!! The ARACHNID OF DEATH is wanted because he trips the first person in every line.
This is what we know about Tim. He is approximately 5 feet tall, weighs 150 pounds, and has four arms and four legs. He is green, and stinky. VERY STINKY. He wears special t-shirts and jeans to accommodate for his eight limbs.
Tim Tripielson was last seen wearing a four-sleeved yellow smiley face t-shirt, four-legged blue jeans, and sandals. It's completely normal eyes are completely normal. (Darn you guided paragraph thingy) It has a nose like any other person. (Grrrrrrrrrr) It has green skin because it was exposed to radiation in Ukraine. Tim has tentacles for arms, serious facial hair, and dreadlocks that haven't been washed in 24 years. Wow.
We have not found where the ARACHNID OF DEATH is located, but we do know what provokes it. Please avoid the following at all costs: Do not carry around cubed cheese on a triangular plate, do not walk around with an open dictionary, do not peel a banana right after eating sunflower seeds, do not read magazines while it's raining outside, do not wear Hanes socks, do not eat doughnuts without savoring them, and most importantly, avoid any and all lines. I don't mean drawing lines, I mean like, "single file, class" type lines. To catch Tim, you must douse it with Vitamin Water. TRY IT! If you didn't get that, you have to watch more TV. But trust us, it works. Seriously. After you catch the ARACHNID OF DEATH, sedate it and call us. The reward is $22.63. We want it ALIVE, please. (Again, it's the guided paragraph thingy's fault.) If you see Tim Tripielson, please call 1-800-PEST-BEGONE.