Squirrel Farming

Since I am struggling with writer's block right now and can't think of anything to write for Frisbees Talk to Me, I am starting a news report thingy right here on my blog. And it will be about... What else? SQUIRREL FARMING!!!!!!! It will be called the Weekly Squirrel Farmer and-oh yeah, you don't know what the heck I'm talking about. Here's what squirrel farming is.

So you go out in 3 feet of snow butt naked with nothing but a pipe cleaner. You lure in a squirrel with an acorn, and then grab hold of him with the pipe cleaner. He starts struggling away, so you're like "WOAH!!!!" and he's like, "WOAH!!!" and then he bites you in the jugular and you're like "woah." So now you get mauled by all these squirrels and they're biting you in the jugulars and you finally get away so you book it back to your car. But the squirrels catch up to you and start mauling you again when you're almost to your car. So you're friend's in the car and you're yelling to him, "Oh my gosh! Help me! Oh my gosh! Help! Help!" But he can't hear you because he's jamming out to his iPod and eating Subway. Then he happens to look over and sees you getting mauled, so he pulls you out of the feeding frenzy and gets you in the car. Then you yell to him, "Faster! Faster!!" But he can't hear you because he's jamming out on his iPod again and eating his Subway. Then he finishes his subway and looks out the rear-view mirror and sees all these squirrels chasing you and he's like, "Woah!" and then you drive away.